Yes, I try to be even-handed in my writing!

And it is just as you say, about not wanting to look at one’s own crap, but also being with someone who’s so self-absorbed that they are in no danger of looking at our crap either. I had a long pattern of being the “good guy” in the relationship, the one who was always trying to make it work, hold it together with someone who was always pulling away. Then I realized that there was nothing noble about it at all, it was just my way of keeping the focus away from me.

Very interesting observations — I commend you for your own self-reflection!

Thank you for reading and your thoughtful response!