Unsurprisingly, I have thoughts! My profile is fairly long, too , but I’ve truncated it over time.

I dig the quotes you have selected, but think you could edit some of the language if you were so inclined. I’d leave in the juicy, interesting nuggets, but would consider culling the extraneous. So, FWIW, I think you just need to tweak it.

Practical tips:

(1) Regarding the kid question. Since you don’t want anymore but are open to others having children, I’d answer that in your profile rather than attempting to use the OKC template answers. That might clear things up and lead to better matches.

(2) Demisexual. Not unusual in Austin to see outside-the-box preferences. Keep that sucker in there and stick to your guns about what that means to you. If someone REALLY isn’t getting it over time, you may need to give him the boot. (My parallel thing is casual sex. Not gonna happen. Some guys get it immediately and others think I am not being honest, can be cajoled, etc, etc. Eventually all of them figure out I am serious. It’s often awkward and hurtful that they don’t accept my word at face value, but I accept that as part of my dating risk.)

(3) Age. Maybe you keep it broad, but also incorporate language that makes it clear you are looking for a certain mindset regarding responsibility/life experiences/etc.

(4) From reading your stories, my take is your monogamous. Search for those guys. Anything outside of that seems to be leading you to confusion and a lack of fulfillment. You got some valuable lessons from that poly-ish experience, but it’s not your preference. That’s okay. You’re monogamous. Own it without guilt. (I can be really direct. Please know I say that with kindness, thought, and care.)

(5) You are a writer, you are a unique individual, and you don’t want to waste your (or “his” time). Having a very complete profile adds value! Having said that, a little mystery, an abbreviated profile would still be honest. I think some editing could be rewarding for the reader and you.

(6) What do I know? I’m still single and rarely make it to a second date. Feel free to disregard (1) through (5)!

As ever, best wishes on your search. If anyone knows how tricky it is out there, it’s me!

I think it’s exciting that you are considering getting back out there! I’ll be eager to hear your progress!

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store