Well, this was providential: JUST TODAY I was going to write an article with almost the exact opposite title. (Something along the lines of “Flowers are Always a Good Idea” — it was a working title.)
I so agree with nearly everything you wrote!
But here are some additional thoughts from my female mind (and it is shared by the vast majority of the women I know):
It’s true that some women don’t love flowers, but as a rule they are a safe bet.
However, the red roses from the past should stay there! I recently saw a poll for Valentine’s flowers and one of the choices included old-school red roses. Guess how many women picked that one as their favorite. Zero. But women loved the other arrangements with roses that included a selection of other colors!
If your spouse/girlfriend/SO has indicated that she prefers another type of flower, believe her. Get those flowers or get an arrangement that incorporates that favorite flower.
As someone who hasn’t received flowers from a dude in almost a year and as someone who seems to be on track to remain single for the foreseeable future, I buy myself flowers, including (horrors) roses, from time-to-time.
These were the 2 arrangements I made for myself. If a guy got these for me, my head would be blown. And I’d be grateful. And he would be grateful, too. I promise. Reciprocation is a real thing.
Sure, they contain roses, but they aren’t generic, cliche, boring, I-am-giving-you-my-minimal-effort-aren’t-you-lucky roses. Incorporate her favorite colors or flowers. It’s not THAT hard to do this right.
And, of course, skip them altogether if she prefers something else.
But speaking for a fairly normal chick, if you give me some amazing flowers, I am going to be happy. And you will be, too.