The Icky Homeboy and Other Dudes
After carefully honing my dating rulebook for nearly a decade post-separation/divorce, I approached 2022 differently. I’m not sure I was intentionally tossing out every rule and boundary.
It’s probably more accurate to say I was revisiting the rulebook due to the timing of several events: turning 50, getting dumped by the perfect guy, and my teen son’s pending high school graduation. My life will look different very soon.
There were certainly a few rules that stayed intact this year. I have no interest in threesomes. I’m not looking to be anyone’s sub…or dom, thank you very much. No sugar daddies for moi. Casual sex? Nah. Dating septuagenarians? Nope. Sorry, not sorry.
By the fall I realized that I had, in fact, broken a lot of my established dating protocols. I’ve been at peace with that. It was a year of experimentation. Ahem, not that type of experimentation.
I’ve certainly dated guys without a college degree but this is the first time I dated two decidedly blue-collar guys. Maybe the rough-around-the-edges-but-heart-of-gold cliche would prove true.
Instead, I went out with an Arthur Fonzarelli-Matt Dillon hybrid. It was as ridiculous as it sounds. I wasn’t cut out for his level of emotional turmoil. He’s had a rough life with a lot of challenges. He’s not a bad guy but way too unstable.
I consciously wanted to date more impassioned guys than the laid-back guys I typically date. My reasoning was maybe those kinds of guys would show more enthusiasm toward me.
I thought I might have found a successful match in the spring. He was hot and cold, too. I try to keep the privacy of the guys I write about, but when I wrote about him earlier this year many assumed that he was dating another woman. I will clarify: he suffered from some mental illness issues. I will say nothing more but I am confident those issues contributed to his moodiness.
Sure, he had trust issues, too. It’s hard to unravel everything but the bottom line is that I believe he walked away from me with a certain amount of self-awareness. I’ve never heard another word from him other than a random “like” on Instagram of a photo I posted of myself months…