Thanks for the thoughtful response, Greg Peterson!
I have considered writing a story that takes a question/answer approach. Many people have asked similar questions to yours, so it probably makes sense for me to answer them all in one place.
I am going to be out of pocket for several days, so it will have to wait at least a bit longer.
I will share that I don’t even swipe on 9s or 10s nor do I have a long checklist. I have tried to be more cagey (ie, not lead with) sex and that always backfires. When I try to be cute or sort of jokey about “dick pics” (I have never received one but I use the term for any sort of similar behavior), I have been lashed out at or accused of being too uptight. It never ends well for me. Not once.
I would say this is a good way to look at it: I have a friend who is a nurse, is pretty but not gorgeous, likes football, dogs, and beer, and is smart but not too smart, she’s not well traveled but loves the beach.
Dating has had its challenges for her, too, but she is EXACTLY the kind of woman who is going to find solid matches fairly easily. (And she has — she’s already had a few relationships and is in a good one right now. Which makes me very happy for her!)
Meanwhile I have a Masters in Tax from the best program in the US. I don’t drink and have limited interest in sports. I am intimately acquainted with the V&A in London and am fairly well traveled in Europe, but I also adore the Dukes of Hazzard and Kenny Rogers. I have 85% custody of my son and teach at the community college. It’s a fairly isolated life and on the quirky scale, I rank high. I am a sapiosexual who despises pretentiousness. Plus I’m rapidly approaching 50, but am not attracted to older guys. Bluntly: the deck is stacked against me.
This is who I am. Trust me, if I could make myself attracted to 73 year old men, I would! The biggest obstacle is my unwillingness to sleep with someone before the 3rd date. That has torpedoed 99% of my matches. Really let that sink in. And you’ll see how hard this is for someone like me. (I just shrugged. It is what it is.)
I have met guys I absolutely wanted to be in a relationship with. It’s rare, but I have. But it just didn’t work out on their end.
I also have an amusing story I have been sitting on. I think it will once-and-for-all dispel the myth of how great meeting someone in my real life would be for me. It’s a crowd favorite and I haven’t shared it on Medium.
In any case, sorry that ended up being so long-winded. But your response has allowed me to conclude that I will write my Q/A story soon!
Thanks as always for reading. And finally: are you kidding me? If I find my guy, I am OUT! No more dating stories and I will be thrilled!