Thank you for the correction on “dearth.” That’s what I get for having a Masters in Tax instead of English Lit! I’m a reluctant writer (which I have written about elsewhere).

In any case, I married (and many years later divorced) someone who I did not feel that spark with initially.

There are huge chunks about my life that I keep private for the sake of others.

I will merely say that I appreciate your perspective but know first-hand the soul-stealing pain and enormous heartbreak of being in relationships where the attraction is not there.

For some the slow and steady or friends-first approach is worthwhile. It’s wonderful to know that you and your husband had such a powerful connection and loving marriage!

But I am not one of those people. If I don’t feel at least some chemistry upon meeting, I never will. At 47 I can say this with confidence.

A lack of words or eloquence is not a deal-breaker for me. I’ve written about my dream guy repeatedly. All I could do was blush and stammer in his presence. He wasn’t much better. We had an enormous connection, though, and I will always regret that he passed on the chance to get to know me better.

Thank you for reading, the word correction, and sharing your thoughts, Jacqueline Pringle Gendell.