Thank you for the correction on “dearth.” That’s what I get for having a Masters in Tax instead of English Lit! I’m a reluctant writer (which I have written about elsewhere).

In any case, I married (and many years later divorced) someone who I did not feel that spark with initially.

There are huge chunks about my life that I keep private for the sake of others.

I will merely say that I appreciate your perspective but know first-hand the soul-stealing pain and enormous heartbreak of being in relationships where the attraction is not there.

For some the slow and steady or friends-first approach is worthwhile. It’s wonderful to know that you and your husband had such a powerful connection and loving marriage!

But I am not one of those people. If I don’t feel at least some chemistry upon meeting, I never will. At 47 I can say this with confidence.

A lack of words or eloquence is not a deal-breaker for me. I’ve written about my dream guy repeatedly. All I could do was blush and stammer in his presence. He wasn’t much better. We had an enormous connection, though, and I will always regret that he passed on the chance to get to know me better.

Thank you for reading, the word correction, and sharing your thoughts, Jacqueline Pringle Gendell.

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

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