STOP THE INSANITY: Bralettes and Bodysuits Belong in the Fashion Dumpster
It’s time to get real: we need to “STOP THE INSANITY”!
For the love of cream corn, what is up with bralettes (the kind that extend inches down your torso) and bodysuits? Let’s just call these two “fashion” statements out for the ghastly disasters that they are.
Raise your hand if you LOVE wearing a bra? Especially once you are home? Heck, I’m only a B-cup and there are two things I know for sure: (1) A bralette is barely going to offer me support and (2) While I accept the reality of needing to wear a bra out and about, why on earth would I willingly “lounge” at home in a bra with fabric encompassing half my torso?
It might be cold right now, but most of the time it’s quite hot here in Austin. You know what I NEVER say from April to October: Gee, I wish I could have extra lacy fabric on my mid-section. Because it’s so cooling and refreshing to have even more fabric to create additional potential sweating opportunities!
I grew up with a sister. I have had several female roommates. I’m a chick! I have NEVER met another woman who confided: you know what would bring me infinite joy and contentment? A bra that had MORE fabric extending down my body. Especially if I get to just wear it around the house while looking contemplatively out a window while sipping on chamomile tea.
Now marketers LOVE that chick. There’s just one problem: she doesn’t exist in real life!
Yeah, no. I know zero actual human women who hang out in fancy bralettes while eating beautiful Indonesian food. Ok. Granted, Victoria’s Secret models MIGHT do this. Elle Macpherson might, too. But pretty much no other chick is happily hanging out in her black bralette looking effortlessly sexy and holding (but not eating) beautiful food.
Mark my words: bralettes are a misguided fashion trend being marketed by everybody from Victoria’s Secret to Nordstrom to Free People to dupe unsuspecting millenial girls/young women.
I blame the whole Coachella scene for creating this false notion that wearing a bralette under a kimono or open button shirt is true fashion. Sheesh! Madonna wore bras as clothing back in the ’80s. The idea that wearing a bralette as a fashion statement is new or avant-garde (or a good idea) is silly.
This girl is stunning, but this photo is a mash-up of everything wrong stylistically with 2017: crushed velvet (!) bralette by Free People extending inches down her torso…while she sits with perfect posture in a gorgeous bedroom. Every bit of this is a marketer’s (and maybe quite a few guys’) dream. To real chicks, though, this is eye-roll inducing.
Bralettes will find their way into the fashion dump heap alongside puffy sleeves, leg warmers, jumpsuits for men, bell-bottoms, and white go-go boots.
As if the ubiquitous bralette wasn’t unfortunate enough, who do I need to blame for resurrecting the evil bodysuit? I was a young 20-something when this fashion trend initially emerged in the early to mid 90s.
The bodysuit was everywhere from Ann Taylor to the Gap. I’m confident Rachel wore at least one on “Friends”. 25 years ago. Let that trend die! It was bad enough the first time!
The only human who should have snaps and extra fabric near his or her crotch is a baby or toddler. A bodysuit is really just a grown-up onesie. What. the. HELL? Who is inflicting this on women? And why is everyone acting like this is anything other than sheer absurdity?
I hate to knock Anthropologie, but this nonsense must be called out. This $240 (!) bodysuit has BUTTONS at the crotch. BUTTONS! When she inevitably needs to use the bathroom, she’s just going to end up grabbing scissors and very carefully cutting herself out of this contraption.
Look, a lot of fashion is unnecessary, frivolous, and trivial. I’m the first to admit that. And trends by their nature come-and-go. Some trends are more successful or attractive than others. Others are fun and whimsical — jelly shoes, anyone? Still others simply make zero sense. They need to be called out for the horror that they are.
I, for one, am biding my time. I am confident I will be on the right side of history regarding the very uber-serious topic of bralettes and bodysuits.
I must acknowledge that I will be looking on with smug satisfaction and bemusement when that happens. And I, victim of the 80s feathered bangs, will commiserate with the young girls (who will be a bit older and wiser) when they are filled with regret and remorse for being deceived that either of those trends were a good idea.
Heed my warning and stop the insanity!
As ever: happy shopping, friends! But only if that excludes bralettes and bodysuits.
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