Some of my friends have speculated that my dream guy has depression. It’s very possible. That one is so complicated — I never really got to spend enough time with him to have a proper conversation about it.

As for the other guy, he had said he can run a little anxious and awkward. (He hid it well — he only seemed awkward at the end of the date and was totally fun and charming the rest of the time.) Depression? I have no idea. Perfectionist? That what I think this is more likely a case of. To have screwed up was just too much for him. Also, there’s a pretty steady supply of younger chicks for a guy like him. Why subject himself to me and my standards when there are many others who will have much lower standards? It might be that as much as anything. I know how disposable and replaceable I am. I say that matter-of-factly not as a put-down.

Anyhoo, obviously you don’t know my backstory and I intentionally don’t share large chunks of it publicly because it would mean I’d have to share information about other people I don’t want to hurt. I have shared that there’s mental illness in my family (though I don’t have any) so folks that run a little on the low key/mildly depressed side are a bit more my cup of tea anyway. Though I don’t typically attract those with severe issues, which would be more than I would be equipped to handle.

In any case, I’ll keep looking. My IRL experiences have been equally bad (if not worse), so…yeah. I’m not holding my breath.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to respond so thoughtfully, Jeff Caplan!

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store