So glad this got recycled, Jonathan! Having this knowledge helps me understand why dating could be tricky for you.

If I dated someone like this, I would be VERY confused initially. But if you explained it to me on the front end, I could process that information and work around it.

Here are the keys (for me, anyway): (1) Since you are an exceptionally honest person, the intonation issue might be fine for me because you are believable AND (2) I would want to know that you really did feel strongly about me or about whatever. Share that with me even if it’s in a monotone voice. I would want to know about your enthusiasm, excitement, desire — just knowing that would probably compensate for the lack of intonation.

I could see how a lot of women would not be able to get past this, though. I value action over words so once I got accustomed to this quirk (can I call it a quirk without being offensive?), I believe hearing you say “I love you” in a monotone voice would be a bit weird but still believable.

It’s the believability part that must be frustrating for you AND her! You want to be believed, but she is unable to.

I just quietly but audibly sighed. Yes, I can see how this could be tricky for you and “her.”

Nonetheless, I think being upfront and acknowledging it quickly would be beneficial to you and anyone you are dating. If she can’t get over it and is having difficulty believing you, she just isn’t your girl.

I don’t know how helpful anything I just wrote was, but I found your story fascinating and can see how it would lead to confusion and frustration from both sides.

I’m giggling over here: I think you need to link this story for anyone you decide to date more than once. (I’m only kind of kidding.)

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store