Oh, I’ve had a long time to ponder the issues with our situation. Would we be able to trust each other if he had left his girlfriend for me?
I have left out a lot of the smaller details that would paint him in a more favorable light.
It’s true that I have known him for 5 years, but I am intentionally sitting on those details, too. He would appear much less shady and you would see why there are extra complications but I don’t want to share those details yet. (I like keeping some of this private.)
Technically, we only went on 2 dates and he very clearly wrote me a final message telling me that he was staying with his girlfriend (which is technically true, but even that isn’t the full story — I’m telling you, the details and nuances to “us” are what have made this so complicated for him and me).
And it’s hard for me to call him the villain. I’m pretty sure I’m the bad guy in this movie.
Plus there’s this admission: I have been lonelier than ever the past 2 years. He read everything I wrote during that time. He kept me “company” in a way that no one else did.
I would have been lonelier with him. That’s the truth. He helped me in a truly bizarre and perhaps not 100% ethical manner, but in this weird way he eased my sadness and loneliness.
So, yeah, this sucker has been tricky and hard to let go of.
But once I made that gesture of putting myself out there one last time, his “maybe,” his indecision, and his ongoing ignoring of me became my “no.”
Thanks again for your insight. I hope you are doing okay these days! Perhaps you will share some updates in future stories!