My thoughts on vulnerability and life’s curveballs would really be treated separately from today’s story.

Of course, I would never expect someone to be perfect and without flaws.

I’ve dated guys on the verge of bankruptcy as well as some going through horrific, demoralizing divorces. Actually I’ve been with guys who suffered from self-confidence issues that you probably can’t imagine. I will never disclose those issues. Not today, not ever.

Nonetheless, it doesn’t make my point any less valid. Guys who are able to tap into their most relaxed, confident selves are, generally-speaking, more attractive and more likely to get a first date.

I’ve recommended to guys who were struggling with finances or any other host of issues, to pull themselves off the market entirely. Re-group, seek out a therapist, get their finances in order, work on whatever the issue(s) is/are in order to be in a better emotional place. Only then would I suggest someone re-enter the dating world.

Crappy things happen to all of us. In those moments I believe it best to focus on healing. Resume “the search” once you are feeling more grounded.

Many thanks for reading and responding, Ed Smith!

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

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