Let’s Kick These Online Dating Profile Phrases to the Curb
With a new decade looming, can we all agree that it’s time to retire the following ubiquitous, inane, insipid, and/or dishonest phrases from online dating profiles?
Can we banish them from our lexicon forever?
Live Life to the Fullest.
You’ve managed to exhaust me while simultaneously boring me.
I’m more of a live life at about 45% type of gal. I can operate at 95% when needed and cruise at about 40% the rest of the time.
On the one hand, I can appreciate having passion about your life, your job, your family, your hobbies, your interests.
But everyone needs some downtime.
Avoid this cliche and find a better, more creative way to express how you live your life.
You’re getting perfectly ignored if you’ve got that one included. I don’t care how earnest you are.
“Perfectly imperfect” does not improve upon “you complete me.” They both, ahem, suck.
I’ve got all my teeth. Lol.
Stop. You’re scaring me.
Why do you need to include this? Are you under the impression that there are a plethora of people out there missing teeth? Like a disproportionate number of people on Tinder, Bumble, and/or OKC are toothless?
Is this supposed to pass as humor? It’s not funny. It’s weird, unnecessary, and unoriginal.
Just show me a photo of your lovely smile instead.
Not looking for anything serious, but I’m open to it if it happens.
Perhaps. But not likely.
This sounds honest. But it is so not.
The vast majority of people who write this are either lying to themselves, to potential matches, or both.
Over the past few years, I have matched with several guys with this in their profile, but not a single one of them has ever wanted anything serious.
Sure, it’s very possible they just aren’t serious about me. Absolutely.
But I’m a numbers gal. And the statistics tell the story: I have never met a guy who followed through on the “open to it being serious.”
If someone has an interest in and is truly ready for something serious, he would never write the first half of that sentence.
Of course, I’m certain that people who were looking for something casual ended up finding something that developed into a longer-term relationship. But that’s the exception.
If someone wants something casual, that’s fine. But own it. Don’t hedge your bets by being emotionally dishonest.
And if you really don’t know quite what you want, definitely don’t write that you might be open to something more serious! It’s misleading at best. Save that for a conversation in person.
I know I’ve left off others!
“Fluent in sarcasm” immediately comes to mind. Heck, I’m a fan of sarcasm, but it’s been so overused in profiles that it’s meaningless now. Best to leave it off entirely.
Travel is another overused inclusion. I acknowledge that I mention travel in mine, but at least I’m specific about where I like to travel!
Unfortunately, at this point, I think most profiles feel pretty generic. And, of course, these days a lot of people don’t even bother writing anything.
At this point I’m not even sure which is worse: writing nothing or writing that you want to “live life to the fullest while speaking fluent sarcasm while climbing Machu Picchu with someone who is perfectly imperfect.”
Bonnie was off the dating market from 1998 (when she met her now ex-husband) till early 2014. She has been online dating on-and-off for almost 6 years. She has gone out on at least 100 first dates, interacted with over 1000 guys, and reviewed at least 10000 profiles. Bonnie recently earned her PhD in Online Dating. This means: (1) That Bonnie is a failure at dating AND (2) She’s accumulated a lot of experiences and knowledge about the dating landscape for middle-aged chicks.
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