I’ve never been explicit about communication until I actually started dating someone. I’m not going to bring it up if we just go out on 2 or 3 dates. But if I’m seeing a pattern of “him” not communicating, I’ll usually address it to make sure he is aware how I feel/my thoughts.

The 48-hour rule seems to come from guys, so I’m not sure it’s “my” rule as much as: from my experience, if a guy goes longer than 48 hours without texting me, he is not interested in me at all and is going to ghost me entirely OR he’s going to run hot-and-cold (which is going to drive me crazy) OR he’s just texting me from time-to-time because he’s bored.

None of those situations will result in an ongoing relationship.

I will say that if I’m into someone, my preference is to text daily (depending on schedule/commitments/etc). I would never wait 48 hours.

I never seem to find the clingy, I-have-to-see-you-all-the-time guys. It appears to be mutual: They aren’t into me and I’m not into them.

I do run independent and have 85% custody of my son. It’s a pain to date me! Having said that, no, I don’t go for distant or aloof or bad boys in need of reform.

I do have an incredible knack for finding guys who think they are ready for a relationship who date me and realize: Nope. I’m not ready after all.

Just last week I found someone who wants a real relationship (!), is cool, we have chemistry, and he appreciates a lot of things about me. But…

He has also has a kid and our custody arrangements are such that it is almost impossible for us to see each other. I was hoping to get to know each other a bit better, then decide if/how to address our conundrum. But it appears that’s unappealing to him because…

I haven’t heard from him in 42 hours. It doesn’t bode well! (And, no, I’m not going to reach out to him. Part of my own therapy/healing is to stop doing all the work in relationships. I have done enough to communicate my desires with this guy. He reaches out to me. Or he doesn’t. But it’s not my job to pursue him any further. I’m actually proud of myself for standing firmly— this is progress for me!)

I’m not mad at all. Just more typical Bonnie luck! (In fact, I think he and I would have actually dated had the custody arrangements not been such a debacle.)

In any case, I’m going to write an entire story in the next couple of days for my guidance on this subject. I’ll tag you!

Thanks for reading and responding, Ed Smith!

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

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