I’ve been meaning to come back to your thoughtful response, David "Doc" Jackson.
What’s interesting here is that you don’t know me. (To be clear: I say that matter-of-factly. Definitely not in an accusatory manner.) You only know a story or two that I’ve written.
What you can’t know is that in the past I would have spiraled emotionally with how that guy treated me. I mean, I would have been grossed out but I would have also felt inadequate and questioned some things about myself.
I’m a VERY even-keeled person. I’m a female INTJ Capricorn — no hot head here!
For ME it was such a great thing to get mad at HIM! To not blame myself or to spiral. That reaction for ME was so empowering and filled with growth!
When I actually had that phone call with him, I was SO, SO calm. I just leveled everything he tried to throw at me. He’s an attorney. He’s used to arguing and winning. But he had met his match. I ended up leveling him. And it was glorious!
I’m proud of my anger. I’m proud of my standing up for myself. I have zero regrets for the energy I put into standing up for myself. And, of course, I’m also glad that I did not spend one more second on him!
In my particular case, the anger and “confrontation” (I use the term loosely) were a turning point in how I approach dating. And though some tears were shed and I did experience some pain and disappointment, it truly was a very positive thing for me to go through.
Thanks again for reading and responding!