Iva, I have been so impacted by your story that I’m working on a proper story as response. I will be embedding your original into my “response.” (Well, it’s sort of response-adjacent.)
Anyway, I hope you will show grace towards yourself. What a rough day! There were no easy answers in this situation. He was surely on death’s door whether it was now or a few days or weeks from now. So many decisions led to this tragic death that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you or any other passerby that day.
Thinking of you!