I’m sorry that you were robbed of the childhood/young adulthood you so deserved, friend!
It’s true that I don’t have the really dark stuff you have experienced.
On the other hand, I have some really bleak, depressing experiences. I can’t share them, though, unless I write them anonymously. Those tales involve other people. Those stories might not paint those folks in the best light or is behavior from decades ago or could impact their present and future lives.
I straddle a line in my writing — I write with integrity but won’t share things that cross some sort of line in my mind. I protect a lot of people, whether they deserve that protection or not.
But, yes, I have some very, very sad (even shocking) tales. I’ve had those closest to me burst into tears for me. I’ve kept a lifetime of secrets. And most of those secrets have to remain in the vault at least for the time being.
(My mom has given me permission to write about her and what it was like to live with someone who was bipolar. It’s going to be difficult to do it, though, so I’m not putting a timeframe on writing about that.)
In my case, I tend to share the good (or hopeful) stuff along with my absurd dating debacles. But there are complicated reasons that I withhold or downplay the bad, the depressing, and the heartbreaking. I suspect that is the case for many others out there in Mediumland.
So glad that you have your son’s upcoming visit to look forward — we can’t wait to hear all about it!