I’m not sure how we got here, but everything seems to be reversed. For ages it was understood that the process was: to get to know a person then add in a sexual relationship. The order is reversed most of the time now: sexual relationship immediately, then maybe we’ll get to know each other.

It’s so foreign to me. I’m not capable. And unapologetically so.

One of my readers, Jazmin, mentioned a “sense of entitlement” in the current dating landscape that has been on my mind all week.

Many men do expect sex immediately with no sense of grace, appreciation, loyalty, much less any commitment. Many women allow this treatment. (I’m not talking about rape or assault. I’m referring to typical dating experiences in 2018.)

For some women, there is a wonderful sense of freedom and exploration of their sexuality in casual sex. But I have lots of female friends who prefer a more traditional approach to sexual relationships.

I’m not optimistic that the dating world will change, but I do believe that there are men out there who value and approach sex in a more traditional manner. The guys who get the allure of the “waltz” you mention. In fact, I have met some of them. I’m holding out for one of those guys.

Thank you for reading and responding so thoughtfully, Amon!

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

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