I would say that he was not forthright with me. At. All.

But I’m much savvier about dating now than I was back then. I would be much more direct now than I was back then.

Bonnie of today would be able to see that hesitation as HIS issue and I would have pulled out.

But I still have a problem with him failing to cancel on me. At best, he decided at the last minute he didn’t have any intention of coming. At worst, he knew the day before (if not earlier) that he didn’t want to join me.

In the end, no, it’s not my responsibility to be a mind reader.

I gave him every possible chance to cancel on me and he never did. It wasn’t till I pointed out 90 minutes before the show that it looked like he wouldn’t be able to make it.

If I flip the situation, it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to expect a guy to read my mind that I didn’t really want to go on a date with him and that he should cancel because I(!) wanted to cancel.

When you flip it around, it becomes immediately clear that the entire situation could have been avoided had he been honest with himself and me!

Thank you for reading and responding today, Alita Madisen! It has given me a chance to revisit what happened, which is always helpful. Nope. He should have cancelled. But I can see that I’m a lot savvier about dating than I was back then. And it’s a reminder that I remain dedicated to being honest with the guys that I date!

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store