I think I figured out why this might feel “out of place” to you when looking at the rest of my dating stories!

This date (and one other date that I can recall — I’ve never written about it) was unique: it was a one-off date. I knew that going into it.

He lived in another town, had a kid. I also have a kid. Neither of us were going to do the long distance thing.

I presumed this would be the only time we would meet.

So my standards and expectations were COMPLETELY different (and significantly lower) because I was merely looking for a date to a concert.

Maybe a good analogy is someone who is looking for a one night stand vs. a potential relationship. (I’ve never done the casual sex thing, but I presume that the standard for a one night fling is different than the standard for someone to actually date for an extended period of time.)

Nonetheless, I presumed he would be honest with me about merely showing up for the show. He wasn’t even capable of that.

I’ve been ignored, cancelled on, flaked on, and ghosted enough times NOW that I know the signs. And, of course, I’m looking for a relationship so I have a higher expectation regarding all of those things.

But that night was years ago. And I just wanted to have a cute date for a cool concert. I wasn’t asking for anything more.

I didn’t even get that.

Yes, many lessons were learned.

These days I presume I’m going solo to concerts.

Thanks for reading — I hope we’re on the same page now, Alita Madisen! It felt like a mystery to be solved. The lightbulb went off for me late last night and I wanted to circle back to respond.

Queen of mixtapes. Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles.

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