I just giggled — I’ll be honest, I haven’t seen a lot of stories on Medium about people wanting to find a normal anything!
I’m very upfront that I’m a quirky INTJ Sapiosexual who doesn’t drink, loves reality tv and Cherry Coke, and has essentially 100% custody of my son. There is very little that is normal about me.
I tend to like guys who are basically good people but snarky, intelligent, and witty without being pretentious. This is much harder to find than one might think.
Fortunately, bad boys were never my thing. And that was always mutual.
Anyway, I agree that there is a disparity in online dating for men and women. But that disparity is largely due to women UNDER 30. Try being a woman over 45. I assure you that my options are rather slim. I’ve heard that it only gets worse when I hit 50. Sigh.
But I’m quick to add that online dating favors certain populations and personality types at all ages. It really isn’t for everyone. Success IRL might prove more realistic for some. (Though not for me. Dating seems to be a mess for me, period.)
As for chemistry, I simply don’t operate as a “let’s hang out for X months and see what happens.” The friends first thing absolutely does not work for me. At 47, I can say that with confidence. It’s fabulous if it works for others, but I do not work that way. I’m attracted to you. Or I’m not.
Final comment: the whole “there’s so many other options.” Um, no. There aren’t. Not for me. If I find someone I might be into, I thank my lucky stars!!! And would happily delete all apps! (I realize some are tempted by the other option thing, but definitely NOT me!)
Many thanks for your insight and for reading, Chris Warkentin.