I guess I’m not sure how to respond to you, MJS. I don’t work in tech. I’m not around the guys you are describing.
I teach part-time at a community college, so unless I want to date students who are barely legal, I don’t have a lot of IRL dating options.
I would say these stories would give you a more accurate reason why I haven’t had a lot of luck dating. Hint: it’s not my fear. And keep in mind these stories are only a teeny tiny sampling of what I’ve been through the last 5 years. (I didn’t want to overload you with a bunch of stories. And no worries if you don’t read these two.)
Regarding guys that are shorter in stature, I wrote this story. In my own way, I can commiserate with them. I dated a guy who was about 5'3" or 5'4". He dumped me. I dated a guy who was about 5'6" or so. He almost killed me. (Well, the relationship did anyway.)
Anyhoo, dating is hard for everyone. I keep trying, but know that a certain amount of luck comes into play, too.