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He IS That Into Me…But He’s a Fearful Avoidant
A BMT Mixtape with a February Dating Update
The “he’s just not that into you” philosophy has been a whole phenomenon in dating lore for over two decades.
Coming off my divorce about a decade ago, I subscribed to this concept. But there have been times when I’ve wondered if this theory was flawed or at least more nuanced.
I’ve dated guys who I absolutely know were into me. That didn’t prevent them from being flaky or disappearing. But in my heart, I KNEW they were into me.
The Brit (not to be confused with my recent Englishman, William Windsor — the Brit is an expat here in the States and someone I’ve referenced over the years) is a prime example.
The Brit himself has been emphatic that he cares about me. He does. I have zero doubt. But simultaneously, he always vanishes on me. We reconnected a year or so ago, but he’s blowing me off again.
My hairstylist of 25 years summed it up this way: “Girl, you aren’t damaged enough for him.”
Unfortunately, she’s probably right. He seems to attach to users and women who take advantage of him. I’m just not a damsel in distress and I don’t have it in me to use him.
